Innocent Martyr seeing
Innocent Martyr seeing

Innocent Martyr seeing

Am I cheating myself? Who the ….? What is going on ….? I’m not used to this behavior. I’m not pleasing people as I used to do. People have their perfect projections of me and I don’t meet them. I’m not calling them back or only when the timing is ‘right’.

I put myself first. Absolutely first. Now, I finally understand what that means. This is the thing. Only, only when you care for yourself first, when you are your top priority you can be there for others.

Everything else is a lie. It is detrimental to your health and your relationships. Of course, Mind has something else to say.

So, I’ve been in all sorts of Generator jobs and I’ve been a super slave of that and I’ve made my discoveries. Now, I see all those job offers and there is a part of me that still tries to find something that could be for ‘me’ but there is nothing. no. no. no. I’m here in the ‘wrong’ environment, with the ‘wrong’ people what to do? Try to keep up? Surrender? to what

How can I be here and/or find alignment to the correct place, the correct environment? 
Only, only when I move ‘correctly’. Then, others on my fractal find their way too. And the irony is there is no choice in all of that. 

If, and that is what seems to happen, my body is taking over can I survive? That’s a stupid question. The considerations of the Mind are mostly useless. The sensations in the body do they tell me what is correct? Or am I still trapped in old patterns?

Who knows. Ask me again in 5 years.