I admit that I have made promises in the past to some people that I now realized I cannot keep. I had attached myself so firmly to a visionary idea it had become part of me. All these years working towards this vision I didn’t know that I am so open. Open in my body. Open in my so-called nine centers. That’s not something esoteric. These are mechanics.
I was holding onto this direction in my life, for my life. Didn’t know that this is not who I am. Didn’t know that I, sort of, become the environment I’m in, the people I’m with. Because there is this openness.
There was a time, it felt like my body wanted to communicate something with me. There were different indicators, bodily symptoms that there is something ‘wrong.’ That, now looks like it was not the life that was intended for my body, with these nine open centers. So the mechanics of my body were not properly working. The openness has led my mind to identify with things that are not part of my nature. I ran on borrowed energy, pushed my body a certain way. Then, my body complained.
My mind cannot know the direction my life will take. It cannot know, cannot decide. The authority resides in the body.