This Crisis with “my Identity” 1
This Crisis with “my Identity” 1

This Crisis with “my Identity” 1

When I hooked up on the vision I wanted to bring into the world ohhh it felt so good. Finally, I had found something that I could claim to be my path. This was my mission in this world. This was what belonged to me. Something for me.

For many years, I didn’t know what I really wanted in life. I didn’t know who I really was. I took a lot of time to figure out what I wanted.

On the road of my life, there were some experiences that brought me on a specific path. In some ways, this could only be my path. My sister wouldn’t have gone there. No one of my friends would have either. The problem was when I created something out of it. When I identified with it so strongly and deeply that there was no ‘me’ without it. Everything in my life was about ‘this vision’. My life only made sense with it.

I never saw it this way. I made promises around it. I made future plans. I worked on the details for this vision. I thought ‘everything is possible’. I learned that I can co-create my future. I believed I can make the world a better place.

I never saw it that way. There were a few misconceptions around this. And a distorted frequency.

All of the Centers of my Design are open. Openness to take in the world around me and to ‘taste’ others. I have no fixed identity. No wonder it felt so good to finally have found something that seemed to ‘be/belong to my identity’. The mistake in that is that my mind cannot fix what is not fixed in my body. 

This is something my mind really has to digest. It cannot give my life direction. And there are still parts in me that seem to be tied to this.

There is a path that is only mine to experience but definitely none that is created by the mind. It is still unique but very different from what I had thought.